Episode 32: Davidson Hang Reflections- Mental Health Awareness Month- My Story

Inspired by Katie Page Weiss's post on Linkedin. I've decided to share why I am so passionate about Mental Health Awareness Month.

Imposter syndrome, the other day I shared a bit about Imposter Syndrome doing a meeting with another team here at Linkedin.

I'll never forget the day I was crying in front of my manager, and I didn't know why I was doing that. I've moved around a lot in my life and have a ton of my support in my life luckily. A ton of friends, I went to college, there were many things to be grateful for.

Still, I felt a sense of aloneness, it almost didn't make any sense because I worked at a company where my people would dream of working, we had fun happy hours, it was a strong name brand, and my coworkers were brilliant. I was fortunate enough that I had excellent health insurance, and it allowed me to pay for a therapist. I wasn't sure what compelled me to look into mental health; all I knew is that I had a lot of emotions to process.

Growing up, my father left us one day without telling us, and I always felt different than everyone else. We all experience some trauma in life that's just growing up. I was so grateful that my therapist almost took the place of my father where I was able to heal some of my past.

I remember moving back to the town where I spent most of my life growing up in Cherry Hill, NJ. I reached out to all of my previous teachers and acknowledged them for being there for me and for helping me expand on my curiosity. There was still something missing...

Fast forward, I end up moving into NYC, and my girlfriend and I got a place together in a tiny Manhattan apartment. I went to so many networking events because I enjoyed meeting people and learning about other people's stories and lives. I met Joslyn from Accomplishment Coaching, and that year-long intensive program blew open my world. I learned about my survival mechanisms, which in the program mine were Big Hero No, Optimistic Orphan, and Judgmental Guru. These were the names of who I grow up to be because of my trauma and stuff that I've interpreted in my life as my father not loving me enough to stick around for.

During this really intense program you get to deal with all of your dark secrets and realize that wow I am not the only one going through all of this craziness that's in my head. I started to see that actually, my parents and everyone else around me love me for what I am and not for my accomplishments and awards.

I started meeting other people who were into this kind of work of self-discovery and forgiveness and stumbled upon a program called Landmark, and that blasted away another layer of the complexity that is a human being. I started making amends with all of the people whom I perceived as having unresolved issues with. I called my old bosses, where I left for another company or an ex-girlfriend whom I've left in the past. I took responsibility for my actions, and it felt great. It wasn't easy or fun, but I felt a huge burden lifted off my shoulders.

We all still have our ups and downs, and I am grateful for all of those who stood for me and helped me process so many of these feelings of imposter syndrome, doubt, anxiety, and constant comparison.

Thank you, Katie Page Weiss. We don't know each other, but I am so glad you shared your story because when leaders do it, other employees are compelled to open themselves up as well.

The five things I would recommend in helping us during our Mental Health journey is

1. Meditation or find your grounding practice. For me, it looks like taking a walk around the park or being in nature. Try different types of meditation. Headspace was the one that got me into all of this. I remember saying to myself meditation is hard, but like with anything else with practice, it becomes easier. I would also recommend Transcendental Meditation or for anyone who is located in NYC- the Inscape studio in flatiron or MNDFL is excellent as well for anyone in the 50s midtown east area.
2. Find a physical exercise you enjoy and make it a part of your routine. Crossfit, Flywheel, Yoga, and weight lifting has been fun in having more self confidence on my physical well being as well as mentally. It helps build a sharp, healthy habit and mind.
3. Find your tribe or group of friends where you can be yourself. For me, it's the social impact community, Sales folks, the coaching, and personal development communities. I love being with people who are curious about themselves and others and want to become the best version of themselves by having a growth mindset.
4. Find a therapist and try different types of therapy. Everyone has a different style, and different techniques work well for different people. Try Somatic Therapy and EMDR . Ping me if you want to discuss or want a recommendation on how to go about finding the right therapist for you. Reiki, Acupuncture, and having a Chiropractor in a way is helpful for healing for me.
5. Hire an Executive/Life Coach- It's helpful to have an unbiased accountability partner who you speak with regularly. They can help you by being an objective point of view of whats going on and will hold you accountable to be responsible for your actions, goals, and your results. You might not always love what you hear but you will be grateful at the end of the tunnel when you've generated breakthroughs in areas of your life where you never thought you could.

I had a story about how I was not a great writer and times like these give me the opportunity to impact at a much larger scale because writing reaches the masses much more easily than one on one conversations. I hope this inspires others to share their own Mental Health journey.