Davidson Hang Reflections and Lessons from a life worth living

Episode 99: A Life Worth Living: A Conversation about Mental Health Awareness Month

Wanted to share why I am passionate about Mental Health Awareness Month. 

Episode 98: Reflections on a life worth living -Asian Pacific American Heritage Month

May is Asian/Pacific American Heritage Month I want to acknowledge all of the Asian Leaders I've been privileged to learn from Jia Hyun, Linda Lin, Lily Youn Jaroszewski, Julie Tran, Michael Wong, Paul Park, Brian Lo, Ken Fung, and my incredible mother! Thank you for all of the sacrifices you all make for the greater good and for the community! Growing up my mother took on a lot of responsibilities being a single parent for 18+ years.

She opened up two nail salons and works tirelessly to provide for us to have a better life than she would was living in Vietnam. We are blessed to have a life of many luxuries she never dreamed possible. I'm grateful that my grandma is still relatively healthy and we get to spend quality time with family.

 

I wanted to spend this time to reflect my gratitude for your ancestors and think about how much they worked to provide for you to have a life better than they did. 

Episode 97 of a Life Worth Living on Quotes from Thanks A Thousand A Gratitude Journal

These were my favorite passages from a book about gratitude. I really enjoyed this book.

“Gratitude has a lot to do with holding on to a moment as strongly as possible,” Scott told me. “It’s closely related to mindfulness and savoring. Gratitude can shift our perception of time and slow it down. It can make our life’s petty annoyances dissolve away, at least for a moment.”

"The point is, it’s hard to be grateful if we’re speeding through life, focusing on what’s next, as I tend to do. We need to be aware of what’s in front of us. We need to stop and smell the roses, along with the graham crackers and soil and leather. So today, while sipping coffee with Ed, I tried to practice what psychologists call savoring meditation. I let the coffee sit on my tongue for twenty seconds, which may not sound like a long time, but I don’t want to keep Ed waiting. (And twenty seconds can be powerful if you really make each second count. Quality over quantity, right?) I focused on the viscosity of the liquid, the acidity, the bitterness . . . Was that apricot? I still couldn’t taste the distinct flavors, but I could see a way to unraveling the threads."

"In our society, we fetishize the lead singers. And not just in music. The front people in every field—art, engineering, sports, food—get way too much attention. The cult of celebrity has spread into every corner. We overemphasize individual achievement when, in fact, almost everything good in the world is the result of teamwork. Consider the polio vaccine, which qualifies as a very good thing. According to the book Give and Take, by psychologist Adam Grant, Jonas Salk took all the glory for inventing the polio vaccine. He was on the cover of Time; he became the household name. But the truth of the vaccine’s invention is more nuanced. Salk was part of a team at the University of Pittsburgh."

"But its long-term consequences might be even worse. By elevating individual achievement over cooperation, we’re creating a glut of wannabe superstars who don’t have time for collaboration."

"Yes, I missed the train today, but what about all the times I got to the subway platform just as the doors were opening, allowing me to slip into the car while suppressing a smug smile? The reality is, I’m not unlucky with subways—it just seems that way because the enraging experiences are the ones that stick in my memory. It’s the same distorted way that I process feedback. If I get one hundred compliments and one insult, what do I remember? The insult."

"I recently read an article about the poet Robert Bly, who said that when he was a kid and skinned his knee, his mother would say, “Just be thankful that you didn’t break your leg.” He found it annoying at the time, which is understandable. But he now sees its perverse wisdom."

"In short, I learn that, as with almost everything I take for granted, humans have put an astounding amount of thought and care into creating this unassuming piece of plastic."

“It’s been a wild ride,” Colleen says. She tells me about the time she was watching TV and saw a car commercial and, to her surprise, the driver was using a Java Jacket. It was their first national exposure. “You know that feeling you get when you have a crush on someone, that little giddy feeling? That’s what I felt.” A few years later, the Java Jacket got an even bigger honor. It was featured in a Museum of Modern Art exhibit called “Humble Masterpieces,” where it was displayed alongside an aspirin tablet and LEGO bricks. Colleen calls the experience surreal. “I remember going to New York and it was kind of overwhelming,” says Colleen. “I went to MoMA—the actual MoMA!—and there was our Java Jacket in a glass case. I remember I didn’t stay in the room long, because I wanted to see the Picassos and Monets.” Before I hang up, I ask Colleen to be honest. “Are you grateful I called, or was it more of a pain in your neck?” “No, I’m happy you called. It reminded me how lucky I am. I really feel I won the lottery. I mean, I wouldn’t want everyone who uses the Java Jacket to call, since I might not get any work done. But I’m happy you called.”

"When I ponder the number of gratitude recipients involved, I start to get dizzy. There are the folks at the paper factory where the cardboard is made. The lumberjacks who cut down the trees for the wood pulp to make the cardboard. The metalworkers who manufacture the chainsaws the lumberjacks use. The miners who dig up the iron that is turned into the steel for the chainsaws."

"Over dinner with Julie and the kids, I tell them I’m feeling snowed under. “I seriously think I might have to thank every single human on earth,” I say. Julie looks skeptical. She points to the People magazine lying nearby on the radiator. “What about her? How did Beyoncé help make your coffee?” I pause for a minute, and then I come up with an answer. With enough research, I explain, I could probably get to Beyoncé. Maybe one of the engineers who made the plastic lining for my coffee cup listened to Beyoncé songs to motivate her while studying for her chemistry final. Maybe the guy who drove the warehouse truck blasted Beyoncé to stay alert. “That’s kind of a stretch, don’t you think?” Julie says. “Yes and no,” I say. We are all so interconnected; it’s hard to know where to draw the line."

"On the bad side, • Coffee can wreak havoc on the environment. A group called ClimatePath estimates that one pound of coffee—growing, packaging, shipping, etc.—creates five pounds of carbon dioxide. And that’s not to mention the billions of discarded plastic coffee lids floating in the Pacific. Or how coffee plantations are wiping out forests in Central America. • Coffee is the stimulant of choice by employers who want to overwork their laborers for an unhealthy number of hours. • Coffee farming has led to vast wealth imbalances, with a lucky handful making fortunes as millions remain mired in poverty. Again, to quote Uncommon Grounds, coffee has “led to the oppression and land dispossession of indigenous peoples, the abandoning of subsistence agriculture in favor of exports [and] overreliance on foreign markets.”

"So where to import the water from? The Catskills seemed the perfect solution: The region had lots of rain, the altitude was high enough that gravity could help with delivery, and the residents didn’t have the political power to oppose such a project. And just as important, the water was “soft,” meaning it was low in calcium, the troublesome mineral that clogs up pipes. Its low calcium is also why New York water tastes clean, not metallic. “It’s one of the reasons why New York bagels and New York pizza taste so good,” says Adam."

"This is a huge theme I need to remember as part of Project Gratitude: My comfort often comes at the expense of others. I benefit daily from the disruption to this community. I need to be more grateful for these sacrifices."

“I love New York water,” Kirsten says. “I went to Philadelphia, and I couldn’t drink the water there. It tasted like cucumber to me.” 

"But one strategy I’ve found useful is the memento mori, the reminder of death."

"My thoughts on this crystallized a few days ago when my friend sent me an essay called “I, Pencil,” which was written in 1957 by a libertarian scholar named Leonard E. Read. When I started to read the essay, I was alarmed by how similar it was to my coffee project—minus the gratitude and caffeine. Written in the first person from the point of view of the pencil, the essay details the work of the many people and raw materials that go into making a pencil. The cedar trees for the wood. The rubber for the eraser. “Think of all the thousands and thousands of skills . . . the mining of ore, the making of steel and its refinement into saws, axes, motors; the logging camps with their beds and mess halls.”

"The threat of carbon monoxide is always on their minds. “Every morning,” Pat says, “you have to pay attention to where the wind is blowing, so you know where to go if there’s a leak.” I notice that the two PR people in the room have smiles that are looking increasingly strained. Almost like they’ve gotten a whiff of sulfur themselves. Later, the PR folks will stress to me that they take every precaution that they can. It’s a fair point. Steel is much less dangerous than it used to be decades ago, when mangled body parts and fatal injuries were common (Larry’s grandfather died from getting caught in some steel machinery). Injuries at the plant have declined 94 percent in the last thirty years. Better training and omnipresent signs have probably helped. Everywhere you look you see warnings: HIGH VOLTAGE. TIPOVER HAZARD. STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN. TAKE 2, THINK IT THROUGH. There’s even a crumpled red van left by the railroad tracks as a cautionary reminder; the van was totaled by an oncoming train. I ask Shannon, Joe, and Pat what they like best about their job. “I’m not sorry I stayed here,” says Joe, who had considered leaving to work in the aircraft industry. “It paid for two kids to go through college, and a house and a car and everything else.”

"Next, Ed and I board a cozy, knees-to-the-chin propeller plane and land in a small city called Neiva. We climb into a van for a four-hour ride to an even smaller town called Pitalito. It’s a town, Ed tells me, that is known for two stimulant crops. Coffee is the legal one. After which we get in the back of a pickup truck for a ninety-minute drive up a mountain to the coffee farm. We’re joined by a woman named Lorena, who lives in Colombia and works for the import company. It’s a beautiful ride . . . and highly uncomfortable. We jounce along the rock-strewn road, occasionally letting out involuntary “oofs.” We grab the side of the truck as it hugs tight curves overlooking cliffs. I spot the driver doing something with his right hand that I really wish I hadn’t seen: the sign of the cross."

"Let me pause here for a moment to state the obvious: I am lucky. That was the thought going through my mind as I took the bucket’s strap off my shoulders. I’d just picked coffee beans for ten minutes as research for a book. I didn’t pick coffee beans because I had no other job options and needed to earn money to feed my family, which is the situation of thousands of migrant workers. I picked coffee by choice, not necessity. And how did I arrive at the luxury of having this choice? Well, mostly luck."

"The real world is no doubt a combination of luck and skill, but I lean strongly toward Ecclesiastes. If I had to put numbers to it, 20 percent of my fate has been determined by hard work and persistence, and 80 percent has been cosmic Powerball."

"Luck determined that I was born in the developed world. Luck determined that I was the son of parents who could afford to send me to an expensive college. Luck determined my genetic makeup. And my career? It’s been filled with random breaks. At age twenty-three, I was getting ready to give up on writing and apply to psychology grad school when I sent off a Hail Mary letter addressed only to “Agent at ICM.” It somehow got out of the slush pile and landed on the desk of an Elvis-loving literary agent. He thought my idea for an Elvis-themed book might work. If he’d been a Springsteen fan instead, I might be teaching psychology at a small college."

"I’m not dismissing the need for effort and persistence. Those who worked their way up from the bottom, who didn’t have the advantages I had, need effort and persistence even more than I did. I also acknowledge that, to a certain extent, you make your own luck and create your own opportunities. But only to a certain extent. You also need pure luck. As Barack Obama said in a postpresidential interview with David Letterman, “I worked hard and I’ve got some talent, but there are a lot of hardworking, talented people out there. There was an element of chance to it, this element of serendipity.”

I agree with our former president. There are millions of hardworking, persistent people around the world living below the poverty line. I believe there are thousands of could-have-been Meryl Streeps working as waitresses because they didn’t get the lucky breaks. There are thousands of alternative-universe Steve Jobs working on assembly lines in factories. Here’s why I’m a fan of thanking our lucky stars every day: it helps with forgiving yourself your failures; it cuts down on celebrity worship and boosts humility; and, perhaps most important, it makes us more compassionate."

"By thanking Chung’s parents, I’ve broken a thousand thanks . . . more or less. Could be 987, could be 1,015, but I’m counting it as the thousandth, since it seems tidy. Chung texts back a series of emojis and exclamation points. “Please tell Zane thank you. And thank you to you both for making me think more about all that I should be grateful for in my life.” She says she’s thankful for the sacrifices her parents made as immigrants. She says that after our talk, she’s realized gratitude is a discipline that needs to be practiced. It doesn’t always come naturally, even to glass-half-full types like her."

 

 

 

 

Episode 96: Davidson Hang Reflections Transformation can Occur in a moment

It's been a wild ride! Wow, this year has been full of ups and downs and self-discovery.

Transformation can occur in a moment with a choice. A decision.

Episode 95 of Davidson Hang Reflections Podcast: A Life Worth Living: The Power Of Yes

The beauty of an invitation is that a new world of possibility is present.

When someone invites us, whether it's a new job opportunity from a recruiter/headhunter or being invited to a BNI(Business Networking International), something becomes possible that you didn't know about. Attending networking events, I met someone named Joslyn who introduced me to the world of Accomplishment Coaching. She kept inviting me, and I remember that the observation days were once a week on a Saturday morning from ten am to 12:30 pm. I remember sitting there and being captivated by the vulnerability of the people in the coaching training program. It's funny how things turn out.

I was on this random Networking app, which led me to meet some guy named JP Pullos, one of the Landmark Team Management and Leadership Program leaders. I randomly accepted an invite to a networking event that hosts over 120 + guests somewhere in the basement of a corporate building located near Union Square in NYC. I never knew that saying yes to things and accepting that invite would lead me down the path of BNI, where I get to meet with thousands of people for 5 + years, waking up and attending a 7 am networking event. Through these beautiful networking events, I met Joslyn, and my life shifted the moment I signed up for $16,000 program that seemed like a tremendous amount of money. Don't get me wrong, it's still a heavy investment, and that program alone has given me over $100,000+ in value in terms of self-fulfillment and self-actualization.

A simple yes can you lead you to many thousands of people. Being uncomfortable and open to rejection by reaching out to a buddy of mine now but a random stranger at the time, Garrett, through searching through LinkedIn to find employees who graduated from Rutgers has changed my life getting into selling a Learning and Development Product.
Simple choices can have monumental impacts on our lives if we choose to go outside our comfort zone.

Just yesterday, I received a thank you note from someone that I did a workshop with, and it filled my heart to see her implementing some of the advice that makes a difference in my career and how if people implemented it in their lives, it would go a long way.

My call to action is think of minor decisions and how they can lead to a world of possibility? Was it when you dared to propose to your significant other, and now you have beautiful kids, that you cannot imagine a world without them?

Think of what life would be like if we dared to fail more often, but in those courageous moments, something else opens up for you that was never there before.

Episode 94 on Boredom, Withdraw, Resignation, and Regrets

Reading Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart and one of the chapters speaks about Boredom as one of the most complex human emotions to be with. We can distract ourselves with social media, drugs, or anything to keep our minds from just being with ourselves.

Being with boredom is tough...
How do you distract yourself with you are with Boredom?

I tend to do it by watching documentaries, Netflix, YouTube Freestyle raps with Harry Mack, Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn.... What am I running away from?

I've spent over $1000 dollars a year on books and audiobooks through Audible, Amazon prime, and it's interesting because I will do everything in my power to escape boredom...

Meditation is still one of the most challenging things to be with, and it's also one of the most rewarding. The privilege to be able to sit with oneself, deprived of any distractions that involve going on a rollercoaster instead of a story around traveling the world to be happy. Don't get me wrong, traveling is pretty awesome and will always be a massive part of my life memories and experiences, but how many of us do not enjoy what we do every day from 9 to 5 that we have to escape our normal lives to be happy for a week or so?

Happiness is an interesting concept, right? It's fleeting as well. I know when I'm happy its when I'm truly present to the moment and I get wrapped up in the moment so much that I forget all of the bills and responsibilities that I have out in the world whether thats paying a mortgage or trying to "get ahead" in life through promotions and achievements.

Regrets are an interesting concept as well. We all have some regrets in life, and the more you look at it, if these things didn't happen- it wouldn't make you the unique person you are today. Some of my biggest regrets end up being a blessing in disguise because something comes along, and you label it regret. Some of my worst decisions in life were a huge lesson for me, learning from my mistakes. One of my biggest regrets is that it took me this long to forgive my father. In my holding into that resentment, it led me to be in one of the most impactful transformative personal development programs in the Landmark Worldwide. I'm grateful to be in this work because this quarter alone my team is responsible for transforming 175+ lives. So thank you, father for helping me be in this work where I get to transform lives on a daily basis. What a privilege to be alive.

Resignation is a tough one. How many times have we felt stuck in a pattern and we are resigned thinking that we have absolutely no control over the situation. Of course, there were always macro economic conditions where you live in a country that is a dictatorship or in a society where women make less money than men.

How much power does it give you to think that we are screwed, and there is nothing I can do personally to make a dent in such huge issues that we have in the world like climate change or Black Lives Matter.

Resignation is a sign that perhaps the issue is that we are not taking 100% responsible for how we show up in the world.

Being resigned means that there is something that I am not giving up in my listening that is causing me to act in a victim-like manner.

Of course, I can blame gaslighting, and we all have our moments where people are being cruel to us. The question is what am I going to do something about it, or what about that specific comment triggered me so much? A more powerful way of being is asking yourself how can I be 100% responsible for how I react to this situation?

In Man's Search for Meaning, we ask ourselves wow is my life that bad compared to how others have it? Even compared to just ten years ago, we are always living more luxurious lives as a whole. Survival is still the name of the game for so many people and I have it that there is a better way to live life.

Withdraw is the scariest out of all of these emotions. From withdraw nothing is possible. I've withdrew many times because I believe that I do not matter. The funny thing about withdraw is that nothing ever gets resolved. Whatever I resist, it persists. Just because I quit a company doesn't mean that context will never show up in a different role or opportunity. If I think my manager is a jerk, well, have I set proper boundaries that show up I will not be taking calls at 7am in the morning? When we take 100% responsible for our lives, anything is possible.

I never said it would be easy. I'll leave you with this. When we start to realize that everything in life is a choice of how I show up in the world and whether or not I'm going to watch TV today to numb myself from whatever responsibility I'm hiding from.

Of course, I have many of my own challenges that I'm working through right now with a financial advisor and my therapist. At the moment, budgeting and finances is the thing that I'm resisting the most. I live a life of hedonism and fun and its led to some of the most incredible memories in the world that I will always be grateful for. Now I get to choose to build a future that involves something bigger than just myself.

I'm curious what you got from this conversation? Feel free to share below in the comments section.

Episode 93: Adventures, Travel, and Risk

One of the beautiful things about being a world traveler is that anything is possible. Growing up with limited resources living off of government assistance, I had a lot of stories about how traveling is for rich people. Not being present to well I was spending that money at bars and going out to restaurants with friends and spending it on other things like going out to eat all of the time instead of staying in and cooking for myself(saving money- long term thinking and short term sacrifice). Delayed gratification is key.

I realized that every choice has consequences. Am I spending it on fun activities that I love? Am I relating to these breakdowns as problems or as an area of opportunity? It's the same thing just needs a little bit of tweaking to how we perceive things.

I realized I could have a bit of both worlds if I selected a job that allows me to travel. I've been blessed to have the privilege of being in Business to Business sales where I get to travel to Warwick, United Kingdom, Berlin, Germany, Las Vegas at CoachHub, Las Vegas for both Experian Marketing Services and LinkedIn Learning Solutions. I'll never forget all of the those beautiful moments where I get to meet so many interesting people from all over the world at the company's dime. The relationships I've built, the memories where I can to go eat fine dining and all of the wonderful conversations I get to have.

Since then, I've created enough means to travel twice now to Austin, Texas, for the Sales Success Summit, a podcast community that I've met through looking through podcast recommendations. I've also traveled to Columbus Ohio for the Summit of Greatness and just booked my flight to get there again in person this year. There is something magical about booking a flight and future fulfilled you know it's going to be an awesome time. Does anyone else get nervous/ excited when they are in a new place/ new state/country they haven't been before? The butterflies feelings is great isn't it?

I'm sharing with you all of this because I never thought in a million years would I be able to create a life where I can go to Fiji this July and be able to live this life of privilege. Sometimes I feel guilty that I have this secret sauce that not everyone knows about. Yes, millions of people have discovered the Landmark Landmark and millions still haven't. I want to acknowledge for giving me the freedom and peace of mind from completing chapters of my life so that I can be present and truly just create from nothing. I get to create from an empty blank canvas not from what I've done in the past.

Journal prompt for you today:
What decisions were uncomfortable for you during the moment but have yielded some of the best Return on Investment, ever?

Was it the mortgage that seemed too scary, but now you live in a house that you never thought was possible, and your family feels safe and secure? Or was it taking that job that seemed so scary leaving a company where you've cultivated so many incredible relationships? That's how I felt when I left LinkedIn, TriNet, and BountyJobs.

Was it spending extra money on a honeymoon that seemed impossible to pay, and you know you will put in some extra elbow to make it work? All of the memories and excellent restaurants that you got to experience. Traveling and watching the sunsets/sunrise on the breath taking beaches.

For me, Landmark Worldwide, Next Level Trainings, Accomplishment Coaching, and Tony Robbins have all been extravagant wishes that seemed impossible because of the price tag associated with some of these programs that have yielded a life that I never dreamed possible at the ripe age of 34.

What is something you have been putting off or that you will accomplish one day?

Visualize how that makes you feel and all of the conversations that needed to be had to make it possible.

You can choose a life that comfortable or choose a life that may consist of uncomfortable conversations that led to miracles you never thought was possible. The ball is in your court. =)

Episode 92: Top Ten Lessons from March 2022

Top Ten Takeaways from March 2022

1. You get to choose whoever you want to be. Anything is possible when you come from nothing.
2. Don't be afraid of discomfort. Actually, invite it into your life. The best things in life come from being a bit uncomfortable...
3. Recovery is essential I pushed close to my limit and took a couple of weeks off from physical now, I'm stronger than ever from giving myself space to heal.
4. Not to rush the process, if it's anything that our ENFP book project has taught us, is that enjoying what you have now is the key to being happy. 
5. I love reading biographies. I love the early morning peace where you have time to yourself to lay on the couch and read a good book. 
6. Less is more. My financial advisor gave me good advice why do I have so many checking accounts? When do we overcomplicate things? It feels good to bring back integrity into places in our lives that aren’t working. 
7. I'm growing and evolving and am not a people pleaser. Declaring that gives me power, and I value my time a lot more. 
8. The power of networking- sometimes, I feel like I spend way too much getting to know people, but it always fills my cup and brings me joy. You have to respect what you love to do and do not compromise, especially if doing those brings you happiness. 
9. Teams and Teamwork- I'm so grateful for my trusted partner Adam Platek. He's a rockstar and certainly makes my job easier when he's crushing it!
10. Being able to give back. Nothing feels more gratifying than helping someone else out. 

Episode 91: Self Acknowledgment is such a Powerful Practice

Huge shout out to the Midwest Chinese American Student Association for allowing me the privilege to meet so many incredible up-and-coming leaders!

I was able to host two workshops 1 on Mindset and conquering our fears and 1 on Building Your Professional Brand and Leveraging LinkedIn to find your dream job.

I'm always amazed at how this LinkedIn community comes together to support everyone. Thank you, Ashton Yuen and Rebecca Yang @stephen wan for putting together such a great group of leaders!

Episode 90: Reflections on the TeamManagement and Leadership Program a Year Long Coaching Program

These were my takeaways from this past week. Proud of myself for accomplishing so much and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. 

 

Here is an effort to be more consistent with my podcast and to share openly about the struggles and the ups and downs of life.